On this site I will attempt to entertain, inform and discuss my struggles and thoughts with you through poetry and other writings.

I am trying to make sense of life and the world we live in. It is hard. Growing up I did not have good examples and the world I lived in then was very confusing, violent and dysfunctional. Now I am a parent myself and I struggle to bring up my children without passing on the trauma.

Two years ago I started to question my gender and sexuality. I have realised I am androgynous, which for me means I identify as male and female in equal measure. But this process of discovery has been paused because my day-to-day life has become quite debilitating in other ways.

Because of childhood trauma I have developed several mental health conditions and chronic back pain. In my teens and twenties I suffered sexual abuse and the violence continued in my thirties with domestic abuse from several relationships.

Mayola (AKA Gif) is a radical queer poet, artist, writer, activist and socialist revolutionary

This blog is my way of reaching out, and trying to find a better way to enjoy life, instead of merely surviving.

Whilst on this journey, and I feel also as part of this journey I am studying a BA (Hons) in Criminology and Psychology. The reasons I chose these subjects will become clearer.

I hope I can bring some understanding and compassion for people like myself, who face triple or quadruple prejudices and discrimination. But most of all, I hope I can meet others like me, discuss and debate and ultimately help each other find and love our selves exactly the way we are.

But I want to go further than that, and through my studies develop ways for people like me who are diagnosed with similar mental health conditions and end up committing crime, to rehabilitate. But more about that later.